SDL Tridion and Consulting Jokes

Random not-so-humorous jokes for your next time dealing with (possibly Tridion) consultants...

On Schema (content types)

What do you call a (insert your favorite Web Content Management system) implementation with only one schema and one template?
A blog.

What do you call (insert your favorite Web Content Management system) with hundreds of near duplicate schemas.
A slight misunderstanding.

On Tridion Employment

How can you annoy an SDL Tridion consultant while impressing HR?
Mention you've always wanted to work for SDL, the company, to work with Tridion, the product.

How can you get interviewed for a Tridion implementation contract?
Can you spell T-r-i-d-i-o-n?

It's the Simple Things

The end user asks, "Why isn't the content showing?" The developer responds, "Did you publish?"

The technical consultant asks the infrastructure guy, why isn't this showing on the server? The functional answers, "Did you check it in?" (true story)

On Blogging

Is blogging hard?
Not harder than Tridion.

How do I start a blog?
Well, there's Word Press. Or you can ummm... Google Google Blogger (yup, that's an intentional double "Google").

Consulting and developers...

How many developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
At least two. One to attend the meetings, while the other fixes it off site or after hours.

How many project managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. As long as you provide clear technical documentation.

What's the difference between a consultant and a developer?
About... 200,000 hotel reward points.

When all other attempts at communication fail, flash the most prestigious card in your wallet with conviction and a smile. American Express works best, but a fancy business card is just as embarrasing in a pinch.

Safe travels and hope your next implementation is a success!